My friend was successfully rolling through life in many great areas. He is spiritually strong, physically well-built, like a brick house. And he is as cool as a cucumber around other people.
Knowing that I had started on my journey to self-mastery, he saw the changes I was making in my personal daily life. He hesitated then shouted out one day, “I had a shitty life growing up with my abusive father who would put me down on a daily basis, with his words.”
He went on to say, “As you know, in spite of all that, I grew into a great man and became a hero to many. Noticing your positive growth, I just see that I am not growing consciously anymore and I want to enjoy life again, what’s the secret?”
“Well Scott,” I said. “I am still learning myself, but I do know that there are 6 human needs that everyone has for any given situation or task in their lives. If these necessities are not being met at their highest levels, then you can kiss your fulfillment in that area of your life goodbye. Not meeting these fundamental human needs will crush your life. That is until you boost up the outcome.”
I then asked Scott about the area he felt he was most annoyed with, the one he thought was not evolving as it should.
He said, “Honestly, its my energy in life. I don’t feel like I have enough energy for the days.”
That was an easy one. I was hoping he didn’t come at me with his kids, or lack of growing with his wife. I didn’t want to get involved with that, whew. I said to him, “Scott, let me give you the six needs that have to be met for your life to thrive in the area of energy. It is a need for certainty followed by uncertainty.”
“Huh?” said Scott.
“I know Bud, bear with me. You need a feeling of purpose and connection or love, and the last two are growth and contribution.” I said.
Scott mulled this over for a bit as I gathered my thoughts of how to continue.
“Scott, what kind of certainty do you feel when you think about your energy levels? You apparently don’t feel comfortable with your lack of energy so your first task should be to boost up your comfort in this area! Why not try to focus on how not gaining energy will affect you down the line? How lousy will you feel six months or a year from now if you continue to not gain comfort in this area?”
He said, “I would feel ten times worse. I’d be depressed and not able to hang out with my friends.”
I let him continue to speak openly.
“Secondly, that discomfort shows a need for variety. Shake things up a bit, try different foods to boost energy, if you’ve been running to gain energy, shake it up, go for a swim! Make a change in your routine.
It’s these changes in scenery that will pump up your satisfaction in meeting this need. We all need variety in our lives. What happens when we don’t add variety?
“Boredom!” exclaimed Scott.
How will ending your lack of energy bring you more satisfaction in life?
Will it drive you toward a better purpose?
I know that just gaining more energy will shatter the ‘I don’t have the energy to…’, thus throwing huge purpose filled moments into your life.”
My observation was that Scott was hooked on what I was saying which helped me know I was getting through to him. I said, “On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the highest level of connection, where do you see your sense of love or self-satisfaction you gain from low energy levels?”
“A four (4),” he said. “I don’t feel much connection with others around me. When I lay around all day,” Scott, mentioned reluctantly.
“I think that number for connection and friendships will increase in the coming months if you were to skyrocket your energy to world class levels!”
“I’d feel awesome and the number may be a 9 or 10.” he belted.
I was having fun with my buddy, Scott, helping him see where his growth will come from and how I can help him get into a ‘changeling’ state of mind.
If you were keeping track, that will leave us with two more needs that I did not explain yet, right? Well, I am going to give you the chance to do a ‘Needs’ assessment in your own life today, right now.
Grab that sheet of paper on the table next to you and the pen.
Draw 6 small squares on a sheet of paper and write your needs next to each individual box for your six human needs.
Got it? Your focus could be physical appearance, emotional, spiritual, anything you want to get a better gauge on.
Write those down now and rate how well each need is being met in that specific area of your life. I want you to write a number in each box that you truthfully feel is your level of fulfillment in each area. Using a scale from 1-10, where 1 is no satisfaction what so ever, and 10 being complete enjoyment.
Once you define the areas that need fixing and improving then you can move forward and find out how to boost them up. I found out so much about myself. When I did this for the first time I hadn’t realized how little my needs were being met.
I also have not forgotten about the other two areas that Scott and I talked about. I don’t want to overload you and I am hoping you will come back for my next article for the end result.
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